It’s not just you — parenting really is harder these days.
Screens are omnipresent. Algorithms know what your child wants before they do. AI can write their essays, recommend their next show, and even outsource their boredom. While access to information has never been more abundant, many parents feel more disconnected than ever from what their kids are actually learning — and becoming.
According to studies, by the age of fifteen, the average child in the United States will have spent 7.7 hours of their day in front of a screen — accumulating to longer than it takes to earn a university degree. As screen time has climbed, so too have rates of anxiety, isolation, and distraction.
This growing dissonance between what children are given and what they actually need has become a major dilemma of modern day parenting. It is also what made this year’s Ashara Mubaraka in Chennai feel so pertinent, and for many Dawoodi Bohras, so personal.
In one of his sermons, His Holiness Syedna Mufaddal Saifuddin spoke extensively about parental responsibility and relationships, urging mothers and fathers to be present, intentional, and trustworthy guides — shielding their children from harm, nurturing them with gratitude and focus, and modelling the values they hope to instil.
Directly addressing parents, he stated, “Like tender buds, children need gentle nurturing and persistent love to bloom into their full potential.”
We spoke with a few Dawoodi Bohra parents from Kenya, Hong Kong, Sri Lanka, India and the USA about their perspectives on parenting, their day-to-day challenges and the insights they’ve gained along the way.
“They were missing out when they had phones in their hands”
Nafeesa Arushawala, a mother of two from Nairobi, Kenya, described how completely removing mobile phones from her children’s lives was transformative for their attention and engagement with the world. “My children play outdoors more with their friends, love to play with legos, and are more focused on their school work,” she said. “Today I feel they are not missing out on anything anymore. They were missing out on activities when they had phones in their hands. Now they are free and do many new things and have new experiences.”
Like many parents, she found that without screens, her children didn’t just lose a distraction — they gained back their childhood.
"Boredom is where creativity and independence grow"
That loss of unstructured time — time to be bored, to daydream, to create — was something Yusuf Ezzy from Fremont, California also noticed. With four children, he has seen firsthand how quickly digital habits can crowd out real-world engagement. “Modern life is so structured and fast-paced that many children never get a chance to be bored,” he said. “But boredom is where creativity and independence can grow.”
Without phones, his children now read more, play with friends, and spend time outdoors. Most importantly, he says, they’re learning to rely on their own minds — not a device — for stimulation.
"They haven’t experienced what it was years ago"
Naqiyah Talib in Hong Kong has been firm about screen restrictions from the start. Her children now make 3D models, swim, and play sports. "They haven’t experienced what it was years ago. Force and pressure may have worked before, but now you have to engage them," she said. “You have to persuade them. It’s vital—but different.”
"No more nagging… more curiosity"
Ajab Saldiwala in Colombo, Sri Lanka, a parent who works from home, made a personal decision to unplug after school pickup. "Since there’s no phone in my hand, I don’t have to keep telling her to get off of it—which has been such a positive shift in our relationship. There’s no more nagging from me, and I’ve noticed a lot more curiosity from her."
“I believe only in hands-on learning—especially for this generation”
In Mumbai, India, Sakina Hamid has taken a gentle but intentional approach to parenting. Instead of screens, she’s approached raising her children surrounded with books, sand play, chalkboards, and a rotation of everyday learning tools that keep their hands — and minds — engaged. “We don’t have a lot of screens,” she said, “but we do have a lot of stories, toys, puzzles, and time outside.”
It’s all about presence. “This generation asks ‘why’, so I try to give them answers through touch, through play, through being there. When they use all five senses, the lesson stays.”
“We became more mindful of how often we were on our phones”
The decision to cut back phone usage often started with the children — but it had a positive effect on the entire household. In Colombo, Sri Lanka, Ruqaiyah Mufaddal said: “Since we stopped giving them (children) the phone, we naturally began cutting back on our own usage too. We became more mindful of how often we were on our phones in front of them. So even though the change started with our children, we’ve seen a shift in our own habits as well.”
Her six-year-old daughter, who once defaulted to screen time after school, now paints, cycles, and reads instead. “If it’s just me and the kids having lunch or dinner, Zahra will go grab a book from her room and ask me to read it to her—or at least show her the pictures—while she eats.”
“Parents miss out on proper communication”
Farida Lokhandwala in Houston, Texas sees the bigger picture — and it starts with how parents talk, or don’t talk, to their kids. “Listen first, then give solutions to whatever they are facing… make sure you’re not judging them.”
Removing screens has led her family to deeper conversations and greater openness. “We talk about things we never used to — humility, honesty, envy. These are hard topics, but they come up naturally now, especially when everything online feels so exposed.”
"They are missing out on interacting with the natural world and forming meaningful relationships."
For Nisreen Tajbhai in Nairobi, Kenya the goal is to bring her children back to the tactile, real world. “They are missing out on interacting with the natural world and forming meaningful relationships,” she said.
What Are We Giving Our Children?
The stories these parents share are not borne from a fear of technology — they are about what is needed to bear for those they love. Parenting has never been easy, but it has always been essential.
So the question is not whether parents can give children everything.
It is whether, in doing so, they might have forgotten to give them the one thing that they need most:
Presence.
